last first day of school for a while.

"i promise to tell you when you stop looking like a girl."
that's all i'm askin.

happy birthday momma!

hurricane irene preparations

the master and margaritas

 

happy kiddies at the beach

 

PATRON

"ugh i feel pregnant" - dad

"i need to eat something substantial."
"wanna go to dunkin donuts?"

I've got questions for your answers

I'm the queen of tree limbs

On the streets when you're driving,

The double yellows scanning through your periphery,

The pothole that you neglect to swerve around;

I'll probably always be the relentlessly harmless 

Thump

in your eardrum

When you crack only one window on the freeway:

I take time to get used to.

Or the radiator in your room,

Iron and ornate

Because it's seen some nasty winters;

Maybe I'm your mattress on the floor

Unassuming with an open invitation,

and oddly safe.

Or the corner kitchen cabinet with the peeling paint

Because I rummaged through it once:

"How can you not have peanut butter?"

Three eggs left and no one to make you breakfast.

Your top dresser drawer, the shirt sliding off the hanger,

A half-finished slushie and a half-drunken smile.

I'm the ratty posters on the wall 

That you had long before me

and ever since.

And the no-longer-welcome mat at your door,

Where my sandals, sneakers, boots

All slept so patiently for hours while

I was very busy

Becoming all of these things and

More that you've yet to realize.

what a baby

wheelchair in the bike lane, look at this smartass.

this is caesar!

"My husband drives the whole seven hours because I don't have a driver's license. It's just one of the many ways in which I am developmentally stunted. I don't drive. I can't cook meat correctly. And I have no affinity for animals. I don't hate animals and I would never hurt an animal; I just don't actively care about them. When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flashcards. In short, I am the worst."

/the best

a caption contest might be funny if i definitely knew of more than 3 people who read this, and if 1 of them wasn't in this picture. HI.

our critter likes chocolate i hope it dies.